Side by Side · a working ritual
A written ritual for two people. Five moods — Closer, Anchor, Tender, Spark, Kindness — for the days you want to know each other, remember why you chose each other, or say the small thank-yous we forget. Drafts autosave on every keystroke. No streaks, no nags, no AI. Passing on any prompt is always okay.
In the spirit of Aron and colleagues on mutual, escalating self-disclosure, of the Gottmans on knowing your partner's inner world, and of Algoe, Fredrickson & Gable on other-praising gratitude. The prompts are our own.
Pick a mood to begin.
When your partner writes on their pad and chooses to reveal, it will appear here, side by side with yours.
Write a small note, choose a date, and the prompt will surface on the morning of. Useful for anniversaries, the first day back from a trip, or a hard month from now.
If a Tender or Anchor prompt surfaces something heavy and you need a human now: 988 (US), findahelpline.com worldwide, or text HOME to 741741 for the Crisis Text Line. This tool is a ritual, not a therapist.
Everything here is securely stored in the cloud — private, never sold. v1 keeps a separate pad per person. Two-sided live pairing ships with the next wave, once the shared couple-space primitive (D5) lands. Nothing here leaves the local cache unencrypted, and the sealed letters open only on the date you set.
Why a small written ritual works is its own essay — read Side by Side · the science. For the days a different rhythm fits better: a twenty-minute weekly check-in lives in the State-of-Us; a one-line gratitude drop lives in the Appreciation Jar; a single-prompt conversation lives in Closer; the Gottman-style map of your person's inner world lives in the Living Love Map; and if you're answering twenty deep questions before something lasting, the Compatibility Questionnaire is the right room.